Good Advice

jarWhen Matt and I got married (seven years ago today — woot!), my mom bought us a marriage advice jar. We put the jar out at my shower and the wedding. People could write their advice on a little sheet of paper and deposit it in the jar for our future reading. As with anything, the advice varied.

There were the tried-and-true pieces of advice—

  • “Never go to bed angry.”
  • “Communicate, communicate, communicate!”
  • “Always listen to each other.”
  • “Never forget what you love about each other.”
  • “Get mad and get over it.”

And a variation on the tried and true—

  • “Never go to bed angry—and alcohol helps!”

There was some practical advice—

  • “Always have a spare bedroom!”
  • “Don’t try the silent treatment. It only works twice!”

Good thing Matt and I have a sense of humor. Otherwise these wouldn’t work—

  • “Give and take. And most of all laugh!”
  • “You need to laugh every day — no matter what!!”

There was the contracting advice on sleep. One person said—

  • “Wake his butt up!”

While another person said—


And who exactly is right? You can’t go wrong with any of these—

  • “Always remember that you are always right!”
  • “Remember — your partner is always right.”
  • “Just tell him he’s right even though he’s wrong (which is most of the time!!).”

Um, I kind of wish I knew who gave us this advice—

  • “For a good time, call Dr. Phil.”

There was the anti-advice advice—

  • “The best advice is not to give advice. Love one another as well as you can!”

This is just good advice, marriage or not—


And there was the delusional advice—

  • “GO YANKEES! The season ain’t over yet!” (The funny thing is the Red Sox won the World Series that year.)

But the best advice I got turned up in my jar after my shower—

  •  “Marry Matt!”

16 thoughts on “Good Advice

  1. Melanie L. says:

    It’s the same with regard to advice about raising kids. Only you and your partner know what the two of you need and to the extent one or both of you is missing some tidbit of useful information, no amount of advice is going to help. That sh!t has to be learned the hard way.

  2. Tina says:

    The best advice I’ve ever heard regarding marriage was to have separate bathrooms. I like the practical, what can I say. The marriage advice jar is a cool idea–I’ll have to look for one!

  3. Half and Half says:

    This is adorable! I love those advice jars, and I can’t wait to see what other people have in store for me. And confession: I would probably be the one about Dr. Phill.

  4. blainecindy says:

    When we gave a bridal shower for my daughter we had a variation on the marriage advice jar for her, too, only it was a recipe box. My advice was this: “If you lean on each other, you’ll never fall down.” She loved her recipe box. Nice post.

  5. inNateJames says:

    I’d be interested to learn the gender of the people who wrote the different advice to you. I’m willing to bet “Remember: your partner is always right!” was written by a man.

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